ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
