Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
