should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
