you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
