I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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