he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
