he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
