I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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