since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
