New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
no you cant smoke seaweed
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
