we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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