this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
