I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
