A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
