The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
