No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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