Well douche your snatch and let's go!
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
