I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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