this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
