i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
