I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
