Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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