He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize