Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
