did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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