how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
