Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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