3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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