I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need to calm my uterus...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
