Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
