it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
