I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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