We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
