he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
