why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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