you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
time to smoke my breakfast
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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