Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
