I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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