Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
