i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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