I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
