Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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