bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
