I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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