considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When are your genitals available?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
