He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
