thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
