So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she peed on how many people?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
