lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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