i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
