Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Someone signed my nipple.
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